Saturday, March 13, 2010
Hey guys! I hope y'all are happy & healthy.
Life is great on my end. Amazing how life's rough roads can bring one closer to God! It's funny, I was in a place where I thought I was close to Him, then life happened. Because I truly believe that once you get married it is supposed to be a life-long commitment, regardless of the reasons, I felt such a tremendous amount of guilt when I left Wayne that I gave into my guilt & depression and withdrew from God, my church & my church friends/family. There would be nights that I would cry & beg God to draw me back to Him. I knew that is where I needed to be, but I had been my own worst judge & jury and had sentenced myself to the prison of my own mind and depression and I had thrown away the key. I didn't realize that so much then and outwardly I was doing my best to go on with life. Running. Looking for acceptance from sources that could only provide more desperation for more....What? Who? Where? Something, someone, somewhere....but never finding what I truly needed. Inside and at night I was still begging God. I wanted to be in His protective, peace-filled arms, but didn't know how to get back. Then in the 7th month from my separation from Wayne things started happening. Visible blessings were starting to fall on me, doors started opening, I would see or read something that would draw my thoughts to Him. Little things were happening that made big differences in my life. I started feeling that pull that I had been begging God for. An unquenchable thirst...I NEEDED the Living Water. I felt moved to take a sabbatical of sorts...to focus on renewing my relationship with the Lord & I don't remember the last time I felt so full inside! I truly mean that...I seriously don't remember! It has been years for sure. He answered my prayers. He has blessed me so abundantly that it is mind-blowing. I have started going back to my church home & was welcomed back with such open, loving arms! The trials of my life have made me closer to the Lord than I have ever been! He has renewed my heart & mind....and is continually doing so.
May God bless YOU more abundantly than you can imagine!
Hugs, Health & Happiness