Life Update, Blogging & Knitting Mo-Jo and Pattern Links!

Hello, hello!
OMGoodness!!! I cannot believe that it has been almost three months since my last post! I can promise you all that THAT won't happen again! I am so sorry my friends! My life has been in such a whirlwind lately! But, at least it has been going well and things are finally settling down now. Here's a quick overview/rundown of what's been going on the last little bit here.....

Had to stay with the ex for a while because I had no other place to go. Finally got a roommate though! Her name is Sherri & she used to date my younger brother, so I have known her for a few years and we get along great! I am still on the waiting list for assisted housing & God willing will be getting my own place for me and the boys soon....wouldn't THAT be a wonderful Christmas present!?!?!

My mother moved in with someone addicted to painkillers, now guess who's also addicted and supporting both of their habits!?!? She is totally not herself & has turned her back on all of us kids...unless she needs something. So it has come to the point where I have nothing to do with her. I told her that she has to get help first....it's that tough love thing. I hope it works, cause I sure miss my mom!

My younger brother is always in the middle of some sort of drama. Still doing drugs himself & I just want to strangle that boy....uuuggghhh!

My older brother has really been doing well though and finally, at 40, is starting to act like a man. I love it!

My kiddos are doing great! Over the last few months my relationship with each of them has gotten stronger and stronger! I cannot express how much each of them have been a source of strength for me, and them not even realize it. I know I am extremely biased, and no offense to all the other mothers of sons out there, but I truly believe my boys are the best in the world!!!

The ex still wants me to come home & honestly there have been a couple of times that I seriously considered it. Then he would get drunk and go on a half the night rant & remind me all to much why I wasn't able to stay there in the first place.

I have been talking to a few guys here and there but still nothing serious. Then here recently I started talking to this wonderful man & things really appear to be progressing towards something very nice. Still getting to know each other, but so far we are both really like what we are finding.

I have enrolled in a Veterinary Technician course. Yes y'all I am back in school! I am so excited!! I have always had such a heart for animals and wanted to do something where I could help them so being an "animal nurse" seemed to make so much sense & has really been on my heart for quite some time now. Now that I am in the position to make what I want of myself, I couldn't wait to get started & this is my first step! I have taken my first two exams and made A's on both of them!!! Go me!

And yep, I have my knitting, and I think blogging, mo-jo back!!! I have been a knitting fool (& crocheting---maybe I should say YARN mo-jo!?!? lol) I have made my friend Sam's little boy Jacob a red Power Ranger, using the free Playtime Baby Doll pattern found here & the colors of the specific Power Ranger he wanted and then embroidered the details that I couldn't add while crocheting. It turned out pretty good! I have also been working on a black lion for her oldest son Patrick, per his request, lol. The pattern I am using is great! You can find that free pattern here. I have worked up some dishcloths; two Rope Stitch Dishcloths and one Darrell Waltrip cloth. Both are free patterns & I really did enjoy them alot! They were each very simple to memorize and work up, but not boring in the least...just my kind of patterns! Now I'm working on an order for a matching hat & scarf! Whew! I am one busy knitter! lol

So my friends, that is what has been going on with me!
I sure hope y'all are all doing good & that life is being good to you.
Much love,

A Better Day

Yep, definitely better! I woke up this morning and did some house cleaning. I figured that at the very least I would feel a sense of accomplishment and that always helps the mood! It did. Then I was able to get the money to get my meds refilled & within an hour I already felt more like myself.....aaaahhh....relief!!!! I came back home, turned some music on and whipped up some enchiladas for dinner...YUM-MY!

I've started making a list each morning of things that I'd like to do on a daily basis, as well as things I'd like to accomplish that day. So far I've been able to, at the very least, get motivated to do some things that I have been neglecting. Updating my blog being one. Reading, a long time love of mine which has been sorely neglected, being another. Through all the instability in my life right now I have neglected the one hobby that is my true passion as well; my knitting. *sighs* It is added to my list as well! Now, if I can just make this a habit...

I want to thank all of my wonderful blog-land friends for being so caring and so supportive. I really cannot express how much your friendships mean to me!

Loads of Love,

Just One of Those Days....

Y'all this is one of those days that I just am NOT doing well at all and I just need to vent. With that being said, now is the perfect time for you to stop reading if you don't want to read anything negative today! Being bipolar and out of my meds is not a good thing. Thursday, when I will be able to go buy them, is only a couple more days away, but in the meantime I am having a really rough go of it. I don't know what the hell to do with myself! I got up this morning, had my cup of coffee, ate a fairly sensible breakfast & even journaled it! I made the bed, cleaned the bathroom, made a list of stuff I wanted to accomplish (writing in my blog more regularly being one of them) and thought things were going good...then I had to deal with Wayne invading my personal space earlier and that was all she wrote! It was like a light switch....I went into total panic attack, an uncontrollable crying fit & hating that I have no control over my emotions! I feel like I need to do something but I just don't freaking have a clue what!! I am at such a loss, begging for God to help me....please!!! I have so many positive things that I want to tell you all about and just can't right now...why can't I just be normal so that I can focus on those positives and be ok. Logically I know that would be the most effective way to handle my feelings right now, but it just doesn't work like that for me...aaarrrgggghhhh!!!

Ok, end of my crybaby ranting now. To those of you that read it all, thank you my friends, and I am sorry this wasn't a perky post.
I sure do love y'as!

The Beginnings of a Hacky-Sack

Hello my friends! Just a little bit of news about my personal situation. Still dating casually, haven't clicked with anyone enough to date consistently yet, but that is really a good thing for right now. I've never just dated; I always went from one relationship to another. This is truly a nice change.

I got approved for help with housing! I am so excited! Now it's just a matter of waiting for availability. Waiting is so hard for me. I am NOT a patient person! LOL

Last night I was up and down throughout the night coughing & with a sore throat; fun-fun. I was told that it was probably because the pollen count is so high here right now. Maybe, who knows. I just hope whatever it is, it's over soon!

Since I didn't get much sleep last night, I'm feeling pretty drug down today, so I'm just taking it easy. I had a request to make a hacky-sack for someone, so I'm crocheting one today. It's about time I got my hands working on something. I've been so preoccupied lately that I haven't taken the time to knit (or crochet) at all. Here's my progress so far....

I am using the free crochet patter I found HERE on Dorf's Dismal Diary.

So far so good, and I am loving the color! Having my hands in yarn always makes me feel better too!

I think about my bloggy friends alot. I sure hope that you are all doing well. I miss you & love you all bunches!

It's Been A While...

It has indeed been a while. Life has taken so many crazy twists and turns over the past couple of months! Wayne and I are still separated & I feel very good about my decision to leave. Even Wayne agrees that I did the best thing for us both & we are better friends now and get along better than we ever have our whole relationship. It's crazy! We both confide in each other about everything, including the people that each of us dates.

The boys are doing great! They have really adjusted well. I am so proud of my guys!

I have to say that I haven't lacked attention from the opposite sex at all! What an ego boost! After going for so long being made to feel that I wasn't worth much, I am really enjoying it!

I haven't been knitting quite as much though. I really haven't had a really steady home and moving about doesn't leave me feeling encouraged to start new projects. I have done a few dishcloths and gave them away. I started a blanket and pull it out and knit on it every now and then. I just finished a small bag and now I am working on a soda can cozy.

So, what have y'all been into my friends?

Wishing you all the love, health and happiness you can stand!

A Quick Update

Hello my friends!
Since my last post I have been able to move in with my mom.
It has been a very positive thing. Actually, my leaving Wayne has been a very positive thing. I am finally starting to learn to love myself again, and to love life again. It is amazing!!

I don't have internet quite yet, so I've been getting alot of knitting done, lol. I should be connected again by the end of the month though.

Thank you all so much for your well wishes, your thoughts & your prayers.
You guys are the best and I love you all so much.

Huge, huge hugs....

Uuuuggghhhh.....

This is going to be a very quick post y'all, but I wanted to drop in and let you know what's going on.

First off, I left Wayne. It was so hard--funny how hard it can be even though things are so bad--but I did it, and I truly feel like I've had a boulder removed from my chest. The boys are even more at ease. Because of the situation, I can't tell y'all anymore about it right now, but I'll fill y'all in when I can.

Secondly, I was told about a week and a half ago that my Uncle Thommy (my Daddy's younger brother, and my favorite living uncle) was put in the hospital and found out he has cancer in his lungs & liver and it's spreading fast. He was in ICU for a while, but once they got his fever down they let him go home because that's what he wanted. Today I got the news that he isn't expected to make it through the day. Y'all I am crushed!

I'm tellin' ya, when it rains, it pours.

I'd appreciate any prayers and any good thoughts you could send our way.

I love y'all!